Driving Me Crazy!

There are too many angry drivers.

 My mom always said that if I held my face in a certain position for too long it would get stuck like that. For the sake of nearly every driver I see on the road...I hope she's right. If you're going to waste your energy looking like an idiot, you deserve to look like that all the time. Here's the situation:

Every time I'm driving down the highway, I see dozens of drivers getting angry for the stupidest reasons imaginable. The person in front of them is driving too slow (65 mph is just the recommended speed Grandma). Those pesky construction workers are taking up half the road again (didn't they just fix this road 10 years ago?). Some dummy decided to get rear-ended and now the freeway is at a standstill (couldn't you crash in the middle of a cornfield or something?). Blah...blah...blah. Who cares if you get home 15 minutes later than expected? It's not our problem that you forgot to DVR Teen Mom and now you're going to miss the part where she struggles raising her newborn. Spoiler alert: if you saw last weeks episode, or have ever seen any episode ever, you've already seen this weeks. My point is, those people need to learn to be patient. 200 years ago, it would have taken people nearly a week to travel the distance we can travel in less than 2 hours.

However, there are some situations in which it is perfectly acceptable to get angry. Here are some solutions for those issues:

-Problem: Someone throws trash on/in your car
-Solution: Follow them home, hide out until 10:47 p.m., and then place an adult cougar in the front seat of their car

-Problem: Someone cuts you off
-Solution: Run them off the road, preferably into a body of water

-Problem: Someone crashes into your car
-Solution: Pull them out of their car, place Kim Kardashian's song in their CD player, and then break every button that would prevent this song from playing (trust me...this is the worst kind of torture)

-Problem: Someone is tailgating you
-Solution: Slow down...wait for them to try and pass you....and then speed up. Repeat as necessary