Hold Your Applause...

     Since this is my first blog post, I really want to think of something profound and life altering to say. However, only one word comes to mind: tampon. Why is it that I cringe when someone says "tampon," but I think the phrase "douche bag" is about as acceptable as a Christmas tree in December? Now that I think about it, who decided that it was a good idea to chop down a perfectly good tree, use all of their strength to drag the shedding pine through the living room, and then decorate it with items that will eventually collect dust in a half-opened box for 11 months? As you can probably tell by now, my brain can be a little random at times.

Anyway, this is me:

- Some say that I am mature for my age (they're right)

- Others claim I need to grow up (they're also right)

- I have a great life, a great job, a great girlfriend, and I hear voices in my head (I'm not crazy...I just have my earphones in)

- I love silence...but hate awkward silences

- I write songs, most of which are as mature as a Will Ferrell movie with a guest appearance by Beavis & Butthead

- I am a martial artist (no, I will not beat up your ex)

- I like watching movies

- I like to make people laugh...even if it means making myself look as stupid as a groom who gets his shirt stuck in his zipper, but doesn't realize it until after he says "I do"

     The purpose of this blog is to vent, question the world, make you laugh, and most of all....share my random thoughts with an audience other than myself. Also, I appreciate oxygen.